Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Shakespeare Remix: A Modern Interpretation of Much Ado

Original text of William Shakespeare

Hero O God defend me how am I beset,

What kind of catechizing call you this?

Claud. To make you answer truly to your name.

Hero Is it not Hero, who can blot that name

With any iust reproach?

Claud. Mary that can Hero,

Hero it selfe can blot out Heroes virtue.

What man was he talkt with you yesternight,

Out at your window betwixt twelue and one?

Now if you are a maide, answer to this.

Hero I talkt with no man at that hower my lord.

Prince Why then are you no maiden. Leonato,

I am sory you must heare: vpon mine honor,

My selfe, my brother, and this grieued Counte

Did see her, heare her, at that howre last night,

Talkt with a ruffian at her chamber window,

Who hath indeede most like a liberall villiane,

Confest the vile encounters they haue had

A thousand times in secret.

Iohn Fie, fie, they are not to be named my lord,

Not to be spoken of,

There is not chastity enough in language,

Without offence to vtter them: thus pretty lady,

I am sory for thy much misgouernement.

Claud. O Hero! What a Hero hdst thou bin,

If halfe thy outward graces had bin placed,

About thy thoughts and counsailes of thy heart?

But fare thee well, most foule, most faire, farewell

Thou pure impietie, and impious puritie,

For thee ile locke vp all the gates of Loue,

And on my eie-liddes shall Coniecture hang,

To turne all beautie into thoughts of harme,

And neuer shall it more be gracious.


1 comment:

Ian Cooper said...

Modern interpretation

Hero. Oh, God defend me, how am I set upon
What kind of interrogation call you this?
Claud. To make you answer truly to your name.
Hero. Is it not Hero, who can cast doubt upon that name
With any just reproach? 5
Claud. Mary that can Hero,
Hero itself can cast doubt on Hero’s virtue
What man was he that spoke with you last night,
Out at your window between twelve and one?
Now, if you are a maid, answer to this. 10
Hero. I spoke with no such man at that hour my lord.
Prince. Why, then are you no maiden. Leonato,
I am sorry you must hear: upon my honor,
Myself, my bother, and this grieved Count
Did see her, hear her, at that hour last night, 15
Talk with a ruffian at her chamber window,
Who did indeed, most like a gross villain,
Confess the vile encounters they have had
A thousand times in secret.
D. John. no, no, they are not to be named my lord, 20
Not to be spoken of,
There is not enough chastity in language
To utter them without offense. Thus pretty lady,
I am sorry for your very bad behaviour.
Claud. O Hero! What a hero you have been, 25
If half your outward graces had been placed
About the thoughts and counsels of your heart!
But goodbye, most foul, most fair, goodbye
Pure impiety, and impious purity.
For you I’ll lock up all the gates of love, 30
And on my eyelids shall suspicion hang,
To turn all beauty into thoughts of harm,
And never more shall beauty be gracious.